Coffee With: Brian Hurlock
- jfitts0
- Apr 29
- 7 min read
On coaching Nykesha Sales, fighting cancer, and what to order at George's
By Carl Wiser
Staff Writer
When I met Brian Hurlock he was refereeing a 4th-grade rec league basketball game between Canton and Burlington. He would high five a kid if he made a good play; when he called a foul, he told the kid why. He kept it lively, instructional and fun ("Great shot! Must be that well water in Burlington."). After the game, I noticed he had a handicapped placard on his car. "I have stage four lung cancer," he told me. "But it's OK."
Hurlock, a member of the Connecticut Women's Basketball Hall Of Fame, started coaching soon after graduating from Farmington High School in 1980, where he had an undistinguished basketball career. "I was a 'minute' player," he says. "I used to say to coach John Grocki, 'Coach, can I go in?' He'd say, 'In a minute.'"
His first coaching job was at Lewis Mills, where he made $550 for the season as coach of the JV softball team. There, he worked with varsity coach Eileen Crompton, who won state championships in 1985 and 1989. She and longtime Mills volleyball coach Linda Hamm became mentors. "They taught me how to coach girls by making sure they are bringing fun into it but also pushing them to be good," Hurlock says.
His next stop was Terryville in 1988, coaching the girls' varsity basketball team. "They were atrocious," he says. "My first year, we were 1-19. Second year, we were 12-10. I was there for two years. A teacher in the system wanted the job and had priority over me."
He moved on to East Windsor, Brookfield, Bloomfield and Wolcott Tech, building a reputation along the way for turning teams around. Before Brian arrived, Wolcott Tech had a run of over 200 consecutive losses, but in 2012 he took them to the state tournament (a big piece of that puzzle was getting them moved to a different league where they were more competitive).
The secret to his success: "They knew I cared, so they worked hard for me." Well, that and a lot of hard work. His teams put in the effort at practice.
"We would run with bricks," he says. "I was tough because we knew that we were playing good teams. Most of the teams I took over were behind a lot of the other teams."
Nykesha Sales
At Bloomfield, Hurlock coached Nykesha Sales her last two seasons before she starred at UConn. "With Nykesha it was like having another coach on the floor," he says.
Sales was heavily recruited; Stanford coach Tara Vanderveer came to see her, and of course, UConn coach Geno Auriemma did as well. "Geno said, 'I'm so happy that you play man defense. I don't like recruiting when you see coaches playing zone.'"
Surprisingly, Bloomfield didn't win any championships those two years with Sales. "There's only so much Nykesha can do if there's five good players on the other team," Hurlock says.
Geno Auriemma
Auriemma is a hero to Hurlock. They crossed paths not only when Geno was recruiting Sales, but when Brian was coaching at East Windsor. "Geno let me bring the kids to watch a UConn practice," he says. "The kids would go on the main court, get autographs. It was wonderful."
"He coached Maya Moore like he coached everybody else," he adds. "I think he's the best out there. He has great assistants, but he knows how to recruit. The main thing is, he recruits people that he knows are going to fit in to his program.
"He shows the kids that during a game he cares about them, and he'll tell them if they're not doing well. Like myself, he won't sugarcoat it. He's getting his naysayers out there now, but I still think he's the best in the business. And he's such a big believer, like I am, in family. Personal family, but our teams are also like family."
Brian had a WWGD (What Would Geno Do) moment when he was coaching at East Windsor. A player showed up late for practice because she got Burger King, so he had her eat it on a chair in the middle of the court while the rest of the team ran.
"They learned that you better not be on time for anything, you better be early. I've had kids come back and tell me that I've instilled that in them."
The Unionville Fire
Hurlock was born in Germany, where his father was stationed in the Army. He lived there for about five years before the family moved to Unionville. It was a big family: Brian has four brothers and two sisters, and they were always playing sports.
Tragedy struck on August 5, 1979, when their house caught fire. Their mom was injured and badly burned after making sure everyone got out safely.
"At the hospital, they'd change her bandages three times a day because the burns were so bad - it was third-degree burns," says Hurlock. "All you could see was her face and maybe her fingers. It was a lot of tough trips to the hospital for us kids. Two weeks later, they called us and said my mom had passed away from a blood clot."
As he and his siblings often did, they found solace in sports. "Within an hour, me and my brothers were outside playing Wiffle ball. That what we did: we played sports."
Cancer
Outside of coaching, Hurlock worked at George's Pizza in Unionville for many years, starting when he graduated high school. He also ran the Hurlock Sports Camps in Farmington for 32 years and does a lot of officiating in various sports. Over Thanksgiving, 2022, he moved to South Carolina. In January 2023, after experiencing back pain, he got the cancer diagnosis. The prognosis: two to five years.
"It was tough," says Hurlock, who never smoked. "There were a lot of times I cried, but I've got a great family, great former players and friends that reached out."
He had surgery to remove a tumor in his back and went through a medieval-sounding procedure when spots were discovered on his brain.
"They did what's called a gamma knife, which is a metal contraption on the top of your head. I had to wear that nine hours in the hospital. They zapped all the six or seven spots with radiation."
Brian moved back to Connecticut, where the "Hurlock Strong" movement was waiting for him. The outpouring of support includes lots of letters and cards, as well as donations. It proved very therapeutic, helping him keep a positive attitude. His treatment these days includes a daily chemo pill, infusions to help strengthen his bones, and exercise, mostly walking. He also took up yoga, which helps a lot with his balance. His instructor is his daughter, Anneliese, who runs the Luna & Lotus wellness center in Collinsville.
He's decided not to ask the doctors if his prognosis has changed. "I try not to dwell on it," he says. "I'll tell people, 'Listen, you only have me for a couple more months.' Make some fun out of a bad situation."
Brian now lives in Canton. We met at The Blue House Bagel Co. & Cafe, where we got to know him better with these "Coffee With" questions.
What sports teams do you like?
I hate professional sports. Pros, I think sometimes they're just spoiled babies. I'd rather watch Geno or Danny Hurley's teams because they run team offenses.
Even when I had Sales playing for me, we'd play team basketball. We ran a team offense with cutting and down screens. A lot of coaches will do a pick and roll, which means there's three other kids standing around doing nothing.
What's the best dish at George's?
I would recommend their chicken cutlet. The lasagna is also a favorite.
What would you like to change about youth sports?
I wish the parents would just enjoy the game, like my mom and dad did. Not be so over-involved. The kids need to be having fun.
When we were little, we had the local school games but very seldom were our parents over-involved. Just go enjoy the game. Be seen but not heard.
As a ref, how do you handle the parents who are difficult?
With kindness and laughter at first, because that's the trait I got from my mom and dad. If it gets way out of hand, I'll go over to the head coach and say, "If you don't take care of that parent, I'm going to give you a technical." That puts the pressure on the coach to tell the parent to knock it off.
What about difficult coaches?
The first thing is, "Coach, what do you see out there? I didn't see that." I'll try to reason with them. I try to work with them. Sometimes when they're frustrated, they take it out on the referee.
What do you like to do when you're not working?
See a movie. I like it because nobody's bothering me. I just have my own time. I love movies with Steve Martin - anything that's going to make me laugh. And I'm a tearjerker. I used to take my daughter to all those cartoon movies like Snow White or Cinderella, and I'd be crying. Like my mom, I have a big heart.
What's a memorable trip you've taken?
Ten years ago I met my daughter in Italy and we went looking for my mom's sisters. The only thing we had was an address - it was like a Lifetime movie. We went to the address and found one of my mom's sisters. Within an hour it was all cousins of mine at my aunt's house. It was a life experience for me and my daughter to bond.
What would you like to be remembered for?
I want people to remember the positive impact I had on them. And that I had fun.
