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Simsbury family honors son’s legacy by working to stop stigma

Walk & Talk for Hope set for Nov. 26

By Paul Palmer

Staff Writer

The last photo of Connor.

Connor Johnson was a fighter and battler his entire life. Described by his parents as a sensitive kid in touch with the feelings of others, the family now hopes his story will help others.

“For kids like that there are pros and cons because you feel everything more intensely,” said his mother Lisa Johnson. “He was dealing with intense emotions through middle school, high school and college and he struggled with how to deal with some of those emotions and feelings.”

He also was battling addiction problems as well as mental health issues.

“Early in his 20’s he was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and I think that sent him spiraling further and he ended up getting a stem cell transplant in Boston,” his mother said. “That’s when we found out that he was addicted to opioids.”

“We did not know he and had to come clean when he had the cancer diagnosis,” added his father, Scott.

His mother says Connor’s methadone dependency increased during his recovery from cancer, and he ended up at a rehab center.

“It was the day after his birthday. We talked to him on his birthday and we knew he did not sound good so we kept saying ‘we’ll talk tomorrow.’ When we talked to him he knew that we loved him. We encouraged him in his journey and had a very positive conversation with him,” said Lisa. His mother said it was a parent’s nightmare being so far away from their child when they were so vulnerable. That nightmare became a reality early that next morning.

Connor Johnson (third from right) With His Family.

“The doorbell rang here in the morning, like 2,3,4 in the morning I can’t remember the time and it was a nightmare,” said Scott.

Connor had died by suicide one day after his 25th birthday in 2016, miles from his family and those that loved him the most. His parents were soon engulfed in a world they had never dreamed of-dealing with the death by suicide of a child or loved one. In his case, Connor also had to deal with the stigma of mental health and substance addiction. His father said that many people that find themselves in that same situation try to self-medicate.

“That’s part of the stigma; that you don’t want to tell anyone something is wrong with you. We always say it’s OK not to be OK,” Scott said. “ I don’t know what Connor was thinking because he was very loved and very loving but he must have said I can’t live with drugs and I can’t live without them.”

To honor the life and goals of Connor and to help others that find themselves dealing with suicide, they launched Honor Connor/Hold Onto Hope to help educate, provide resources and bring the conversation into the public. “After we lost Connor we didn’t know where to turn as parents who lost a child to suicide – what do you do now?” Lisa recounted. “ I felt like I had a scarlet letter – like ‘that’s the family that lost a kid to suicide what did they do wrong. I don’t want to be near the or that would never happen to my family.’ We want to help families that are going through that type of loss because we realize it’s such a stigmatized loss.” She and Scott both say that they want people to understand that there is nothing you did wrong as a family. They said there were longtime friends that stopped talking with them, not because they were scared, but rather because they had no idea what to say. But the Johnson’s said that it is alright if you don’t know what to say to someone that has lost a loved one to suicide, most people do not. But they said just being there for the families and loved ones goes a long way.

“We created Hold Onto Hope to help people who have had suicide loss and those who want to learn how to support those that have experienced suicide loss, “Lisa said. The 90-minute program is interactive and works to educate people about the stigma of suicide. The program offers resources for finding providers, having conversations and helping the recovery process. It is offered free as a virtual seminar every first Thursday of the month and can be found at their website https://honorconnor.org/.

The Johnsons encourage community groups, schools, houses of worship, and employers to embrace their effort as suicide effects more than just the immediate family. “For every one person that dies by suicide, there are 100 people that are impacted, Lisa said. “As we look at the numbers of people who continue to die by suicide, especially after COVID, and as that number goes up, the number of people impacted by that also grows so that it is hard to find somebody that you meet that has not been impacted in some way. If you don’t know somebody right now, you are going to know somebody and that’s why it is important to get educated.”

In addition to the education program, Honor Connor and Hold Onto Hope continue to create ways for families and friends to have simple conversation that they said go beyond the everyday.

“The Saturday after Thanksgiving,’ Scott said “ is the Walk and Talk for Hope. You take a walk and talk with your family and friends about stuff that matters. We’ve developed things that are conversation starters that we provide to talk to friends, kids, teens.” Lisa added, “If something does come up in those conversations, we have resource cards to help you know where to turn. Scott says it is as simple as talking a walk down the street and talking and listening. There will be a Walk and Talk Gathering from 10 a.m. to noon on Nov. 26 along Iron Horse Boulevard in Simsbury. Honor Connor/Hold Onto Hope will have some information tables set-up along the route as well to help get the message out and provide lists of resources. “My dream is to have 30 million people walking and talking the Saturday after Thanksgiving and actually having a real conversation, Scott said. “Just in the US, think about all the families and friendships that can be developed if you have meaningful conversations.

Visit https://honorconnor.org/ to register or donate.

Lisa and Scott Johnson stand in front of a garden dedicated to their son Connor.

Lisa and Scott say that like not knowing what to say to the families and loved ones of someone that dies by suicide, most people are afraid to bring up the word in a conversation with someone. “There’s always this belief that if I talked to my loved ones about suicide I’m going to put that idea into their heads, but it is completely the opposite,” counseled Lisa. “The dark part of it is them not talking about it. They need to have someone bring up the future. What would the future look like without you? I think when a lot of people get in those dark places they start thinking that everybody is going to be better off without me.”

This past March, the Honor Project was rolled out. It gives people a place to post their thoughts and feelings about someone they have lost or someone that has helped them survive.

“One of the big ways to stop stigmas is to share stories,” Connor’s father said. “Mental health, suicide, and addiction impact so many families in the Farmington Valley. One of Connors wishes was to help others with mental health and addiction issues. ”

From the perspective and knowledge they have gained, the Johnsons know that they and Connor are making a difference. “We want to offer the message of hope. You always have the grief it is part of your life, but you can live with hope that you never thought you’d have. Your life definitely changes.”


‘LOVE’

By Connor Johnson

I now realize that love is the essence of life,

it opens your eyes to blessings unseen with a grateful heart.

When I am struggling to connect and relate to others,

it becomes so clear that love is what I should have been sharing all along.

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Valley Happenings

Fighting Cancer Pasta Dinner:

Benefit for Avon Volunteer Fire Department

Deputy Chief Dave Theriault

Saturday, February 22, 2025, 3:00-7:00 p.m. 

Avon Senior Center, 635 West Avon Road, Avon

AVFD Deputy Chief of Administration Dave Theriault is facing a tough battle against Stage 4 cancer. The AVFD, along with Tunxis Hose Co. No. 1 and the Farmington Fire Department, is holding a pasta dinner to help raise money for Chief Theriault’s medical expenses. In addition to delicious food, drinks, and camaraderie, the event will feature dozens of raffle prizes. Event tickets are $20 for adults and $10 for seniors and children under 10 years old. They can be purchased at the door or in advance at AVFD Headquarters, 25 Darling Drive, Avon (Mondays, 8:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. and Tuesdays-Fridays, 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m.). Contributions can be made via Venmo @supportDave or by mail to the AVFD at 25 Darling Drive, Avon, CT 06001. 

Canton Community Health Fund Applications

Canton Community Health Fund, Inc. Opens 2025 Application Season, on March 1, 2025, for Canton Community Partner Grants & Canton Scholars Pursuing Careers in Healthcare or Public Safety Canton Community Health Fund, Inc. (CCHF), opens its grant and scholarship application season March 1. CCHF encourages State of CT certified non-profits serving the Canton community to apply for Community Partner grants. In addition, graduating high school seniors seeking higher education in healthcare or public safety are invited to apply for either a Dr. Diters Legacy Scholarship or a Pay It Forward Scholarship. Applications and informative Fact Sheets are available online at www.cantoncommunityhealthfund.org.  Community Partner Grant and Scholarship awards will be announced in June/2025.

 

Avon Library events

AVON –The following events are scheduled at Avon Free Public Library. The library is at Avon Library, 281 Country Club Road, Avon. All programs are in person except where noted. For more information on adult programs, contact Adult Services Reference Desk via avonref@avonctlibrary.info 860-673-9712 x 7203

• Antique Map Collecting 101, Saturday, Feb. 1 at 1 p.m. Registration is required: https://www.avonctlibrary.info/event/antique-map-collecting/

• Morning Book Club. Wednesday, Feb. 5 at 10:30 a.m., The Mystery Guest by Nita Prose, Registration is required: https://www.avonctlibrary.info/events/tag/morning-book-club/

• Meditation for Balance and Inner Contentment. (Virtual Event) Thursday, Feb. 6 at 7 pm.

• Eastern Coyotes in Connecticut (Virtual Event) Thursday, Feb. 13 at 6:30 p.m.

• Fashion and the First Lady (Virtual Event). Wednesday, Feb. 19 at 2 p.m.

• Hoop Skirts to Flappers: Eighty Years of Connecticut Fashion. Monday, Feb. 24 at 2 p.m.

• The Golden Age of Hollywood. (Virtual Event) Tuesday, March 4 at 2 pm.

 

Simsbury Lions Club

The Simsbury Lions Club is looking for people interested in volunteering and contributing to better our town. Our motto is “We serve,” and we do so by volunteering at local events and donating our proceeds to serving interests in our community.

If interested, please feel free to contact Sandy Kremer at Tprkremer@gmail.com or Philip Painchaud at painchaudp@gmail.com.”

 

Winter sowing workshop

The Farmington Land trust is hosting a winter sowing workshop focused on raising native plants. Make your own up-cycled greenhouse from a milk jug and prep some beneficial native plants for the coming growing season. Sunday, Feb 2 from 11a.m.-12:30 p.m. at the Farmington Senior Center. RSVP here: https://www.farmingtonlandtrust.org/event-details/winter-sowing-seminar-native-seed-planting

 

Wild Flowers from Spring to Fall

CANTON – The Cherry Brook Garden Club is hosting a lecture on “Following Our Wild Flowers from Spring to Fall” on Tuesday, Feb. 11, at 11 a.m. at the Canton Community Center, lower level, 40 Dyer Avenue. Steve Messier, Lichenologist and former Science teacher at Canton High School will discuss the topic. The lecture is open to the public. There is a $5 guest fee for non-members. Email questions to cherrybrookgardenclub@gmail.com.

 

‘Five Wishes’ at McLean

SIMSBURY – Join Kevin Baran, M.D., medical director, and the McLean Hospice Team for a special “McLean & Me Educational Series” presentation to learn how to talk about and record your wishes for care through the end of life, so those wishes can be understood and respected. The presentation will be held at McLean’s Garmany Performing Arts Center, 50 Sarah Lane, Simsbury, on Tuesday, Feb. 11, at 6 p.m. The presentation is free but an RSVP by Feb. 4 is required as seating is limited. A light dinner will be provided.

To register, visit McLeanCare.org/Events, email Margaret.Clark@McLeanCare.org, or call 860-658-3718.

 

‘Art Throb!’ Exhibit

Gallery on the Green presents “Art Throb!” Exhibit plus a Solo Exhibit by Kathi Packer Friday, Feb. 14 through Saturday, March 15. An opening reception is on Saturday, Feb. 15 from 6-8 p.m. and will include refreshments. The show and reception are free.

“Art Throb!” is a heartfelt Valentine’s Day celebration presented by the membership of Canton Artists’ Guild. The artists use a wide range of media including painting, prints, drawing, photography, sculpture, ceramics and mixed media to represent the emotional intensity, joy and complexity of love.

In the upstairs Gallery, Kathi Packer has a solo show, “Another Tale.”  Packer notes that a friend’s casual invitation to go on safari in 2008 substantially changed the direction of her artistic journey.The gallery is located near the intersection of Dowd Avenue and Route 44 at 5 Canton Green Road in Canton. Hours are Friday – Sunday, 1-5 pm. The main floor gallery is handicapped accessible.

Website: http://www.galleryonthegreen.org; Phone:  860-693-4102

 

TABLESCAPES fundraiser returns to benefit the new

Avon History Museum

AVON – The Avon Historical Society invites the public to its sixth TABLESCAPES event showcasing up to 30 creative and original table settings on Friday, March 14 and Saturday, March 15 at the historic North House, 1 Nod Road, Avon.

This event will feature themed table settings from local professional designers, florists, businesses, individuals, artists and others featuring fresh floral arrangements, centerpieces and accessories. Proceeds will benefit the installation of professionally curated exhibits in the new Avon History Museum scheduled to open on Friday, July 4, 2025.

Back by popular demand will be a “Table and Barware Tag Sale” on both days. Admission to TABLESCAPES includes the tag sale. Tickets are $20 each pre-sale and at the door. Tickets can be purchased online at www.avonhistoricalsociety.org or by calling Mary Harrop at 860-670-3225 before March 8.

Those interested in sponsorship opportunities can also call Harrop.

 

Alzheimer’s Support Group

FARMINGTON – Hearts, Hugs & Hope: An Alzheimer’s Support Group takes place Feb. 20, 2025, 6 p.m. at Farmington Station Assisted Living and Memory Care Community, 111 Scott Swamp Road, Farmington. Dealing with Alzheimer’s disease and related dementia isn’t easy, so it is helpful to share your concerns and personal experiences with others who completely understand what you’re going through. You will also learn about proven strategies to help you better care for your family member. This group is being offered both in person and via Zoom on the third Thursday of each month. If you plan to attend, contact Director of Compass Programming Katherine Jedynasty at kjedynasty@farmingtonslr.com.

 

Used book sale

AVON - A huge book sale will be held Feb. 28 and March 1 in St. Ann’s Church Hall, 289 Arch Road at Route 167.  Hours are Friday, 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. ($5 adult admission) and Saturday, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. (no admission fee).

Thousands of books will be organized in separate sections, including Fiction, History, Biography, Politics, Children, Music, Cooking, Sports, Art, Vintage, and more!  A large selection of Children’s books will be available.  Fiction books will be divided by hardcover, paperback, and trade paperback and sorted alphabetically by author.  DVDs, CDs, books on CDs, Vinyl records, and puzzles will be available, also.  Most books will be $3 or less with vintage and specialty books priced higher.

 

Daisy Days: All-Girls Summer Day Camp Experience

FARMINGTON – Miss Porter’s School, a renowned institution with a legacy of empowering young women, is excited to announce the launch of Daisy Days, an all-new day camp for girls entering grades 3-5 this fall. Starting this summer, Daisy Days will offer a unique, joy-filled experience designed to spark creativity, build confidence, and inspire self-discovery in an empowering all-girls environment.

For additional details, visit pcgl.porters.org/daisy-days.

 

Artist demonstration

Avon Arts Association will hold a guest artist demonstration featuring  Granby artist Laura Eden on Tuesday, February 18 at  Avon Town Hall, 60 W. Main St., lower level, at 6:30 p.m. Ms. Eden will demonstrate egg tempera painting.

The demo is free and open to the public ($5 suggested donation). A workshop with Ms. Eden will be held at the same location in the Avon Room on Saturday, Feb. 22, 10-2 with  set up at 9:30. Fee: $45 for members, $55 for nonmembers). www.AvonArts.org

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