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Coffee With: Deb Bibbins of For All Ages

On a mission to eradicate loneliness

For All Ages Founder Deb Bibbins at BeanZ in Avon. Photo by Carl Wiser

 By Carl Wiser

Staff Writer, Valley LIFE

 

This is surprising: 18 to 22 is the loneliest age group right now.

 

"Many people believe it has to do with social media, spending too much time on phones, and lack of in-person social connection," Deb Bibbins explains. "Doors are closed. No one's talking to each other."

 

Bibbins is the founder of For All Ages, a Simsbury-based nonprofit working to bring people of different generations together. The next most-lonely age group you can probably guess: 70-plus. "For all the reasons that you would expect," says Bibbins. "A lot of people have lost loved ones. Grief perpetuates loneliness, so that can be a really difficult time in someone's life."

 

It makes sense, then, to bring these age groups together, which For All Ages does with programs like rock painting, a fishing derby, and their popular Tea At 3 community. For that one, a college student is matched with an older adult based on common interest, and they each drink a cup of tea during a weekly 20-minute phone call. "It's been fabulous," says Bibbins. "We've now had more than 500 Connecticut residents go through this program. We just finished our eighth session."

 

The students come from universities across the state, signed up through a network of student volunteers and professors. The older adults For All Ages finds by working with senior centers, adult living communities, and organizations like Meals On Wheels. The matchmaking usually works.

 

"We have brought together retired physicians with pre-med students. We've brought together ukulele players. We've brought together two people that speak French as their native language. Whatever people share on their applications, we go through it and match."

 

Seems weird that college kids are so isolated, doesn't it? But this is a generation that grew up with smartphones and were in lockdown at a key time of their social development. And AI is only making it worse. "They're not even thinking about the importance of social connection," says Bibbins. "We need to teach people how to do this by bringing people together."

 

Many older adults stopped making new friends long ago, and that becomes a problem. "As we age, it's more important to have younger friends because they're less likely to pass away and will be there for them," says Bibbins. "You go through your life, you have friends that are your own age. You continue to age together, and what happens when they're not there any longer? As we're aging, how do we have that social connectivity network? It's going to take intention to create it and sustain it."

 

According to Bibbins, loneliness is a root cause of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and a host of other ills. A year ago, the Surgeon General declared it a health crisis. Government programs are being floated, but most have been bogged down by politics, leaving For All Ages on the front lines.

 

 

What To Do If You're Lonely

 

If you're lonely, you can find a program at forallages.org. Bibbins also has these suggestions:

 

1) Volunteer

"Find an organization that has some meaning for you, and reach out to them and ask how you can help. Not only are you getting your social connection and forging new friendships, but you have a purpose and you can feel fulfilled by the fact that you're giving back."

 

2) Go To The Library

"Libraries are community hubs. Libraries have really blossomed with offering many programs, especially since the pandemic. Libraries are not just for reading anymore, they're for bringing people together."

 

3) Join A Club

"Think about a hobby and reach out to a local club. Photography clubs are huge and have very limited barriers to entry - all you need is a cell phone these days. Photography clubs often will have people who are experts and people who are beginners. That's a hobby that doesn't have barriers that some others may have, like running or other physical-related hobbies.

 

 

Who Is Most Likely To Be Lonely?

 

According to Bibbins, anyone in a transitional period is at risk for loneliness. This includes new moms who have left their social networks behind at work, kids leaving home, and older adults who uproot to be closer to their children. "The children are probably going off to work and mom is stuck home alone with no friend network," says Bibbins. "They don't think about how to help mom grow her social network in this new place where she knows no one. There needs to be time and thought put into that."

 

The caregiver population is also at risk, as is anyone who moves or takes a new job or starts working from home.

 

 

Founding For All Ages

 

After graduating from UConn with a degree in finance, Bibbins went to work for Travelers and earned two more degrees while working full time: an MBA from UMass and a law degree from UConn. She left to work for a law firm, then joined The Hartford. She started For All Ages in 2019 after watching a family member struggle with loneliness at the end of his life.

 

"He was the last of his friends to be alive," says Bibbins. "All his friends passed away before him and as his social network shrunk he became more isolated and lonely. After watching him go through this really tough time and then subsequently passing away very quickly, I started doing research on the impact of loneliness and found all this research on the detrimental mental and physical health impacts of loneliness. I went looking for a non-profit to help with this mission and couldn't find one, so after some soul-searching I decided to found For All Ages."

 

One of their first programs brought older adult carpenters from the Farmington Valley into Simsbury High with the tech-ed students. Together, they redesigned Adirondack chairs to make them easier to get in and out of.

 

"They finished their work in March of 2020 about a week before the state shut down. We subsequently clear-coated the chairs ourselves and placed them in pairs throughout the town of Simsbury during the summer of 2020, which proved to be this really unique opportunity for people to get out of their houses."

 

Rock painting was another early program. Elementary school students and older adults came together to decorate 350 rocks for Simsbury's 350th anniversary.

 

"We didn't even put paint brushes out for the first 45 minutes so people had to talk with one another," says Bibbins. "We did icebreakers. We brought together nearly a thousand people across six months of gatherings, bringing people together to talk, to socialize, to have fun and get to know each other across the generations."

 

At one rock-painting event held at an adult living community, a woman who had been self-isolating for months following the death of her spouse finally came out of her room.

 

"She heard what was going on, she heard all the fun that was taking place. She opened her door, came out of her room and sat down. The leaders at that adult living community called me the next morning and said, You will not believe the impact that this simple program had on this one person's life. She came to breakfast for the first time. She came to lunch today, and her whole demeanor has changed. She said to us, grief will be with me forever, but I understand the need to move past it."

 

Bibbins lives in the John Humphrey House in Simsbury with her husband Ken. Their daughter Mikayla, 26, is in the  Doctor of Physical Therapy Program at UConn.

 

We met with Deb at Beanz in Avon, the same place our last "Coffee With" subject, Bob Maxon of NBC Connecticut, chose. Over an iced tea, we got to know her better with these questions.

 

What do you like to do when you're not working?

I love being out in nature. I find it to be very peaceful and relaxing.

 

We have a rescue dog and we often are out walking. You'll find us out, whether it's at Penwood in the state forest or at the reservoir in West Hartford.

 

Favorite book?

There is a book that I read years ago called All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. It's about simple ways to be kind to others and to appreciate your time on Earth. That resonates with me and has stuck with me.

 

When I applied to law school, we had to write our essay on a book, and I wrote my essay on that book. I received a phone call from the dean of UConn law school, who said, "Far and away the best essay we've ever seen on a book, because it shows you're not being academic and trying to impress us, you're just being authentic."

 

Is there a defining moment in your life that stands out?

In 1979, when I was a 14-year-old freshman at Southington High School, I wanted to run track, but there wasn't a girls' track team, so I had to appeal to join the boys' track team. The coach said that if I could find one other girl, I could join, because he didn't want me in the girls' locker room alone.

 

So I found another girl and we joined. He said, "You can practice, but the only way I'm going to let you compete at a meet is if you can run the 400 meters in less than a minute and beat at least one other boy on the team." So I worked really hard for two weeks and I beat the minute by a few seconds and beat two of the boys on the team, as did the other girl. So he let us compete as JV runners that first year.

 

That was the first time I learned about the value of advocating for yourself and advocating for others. I learned about the power of persuasion for the first time, and how if you really work hard for something, you can make things happen. That's something that has stuck with me as I've gone through my life.

 

What is something you'd like to learn?

It's on my bucket list to learn American Sign Language. I've dabbled here and there, but one of these days I'm going to find the time to really learn it.

 

 

What's one of your non-work-related talents?

I enjoy cooking. I love experimenting. I love taking a recipe and doing my own thing with it.

 

 

What wisdom would you give to your younger self?

To recognize how short life is and to be present as much as I can, because life goes by so quickly.

 


Deb watching Simsbury High School students and older adult artists collaborate during the 2022 "Spread Your Wings" intergenerational art program. Submitted photo

Deb with For All Ages co-founder Gary Sekorski and Simsbury Community Partner team members at a 2024 "Simsbury Social Connections Project" session, where teams designed social connection events for residents.

Deb connecting with youth at a 2023 "Share Your Light" luminary decorating event.

Deb and husband Ken finishing the 2023 Eversource Hartford Marathon Charity 5K race in support of For All Ages.

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Valley Happenings

UPDATED:

Fighting Cancer Pasta Dinner:

Benefit for Avon Volunteer Fire Department

Deputy Chief Dave Theriault

Sunday, February 23, 2025, 3:00-7:00 p.m. 

Farmington Polo Club, 162 Town Farm Road, Farmington

 

AVFD Deputy Chief of Administration Dave Theriault is facing a tough battle against Stage 4 cancer. The AVFD, along with Tunxis Hose Co. No. 1 and the Farmington Fire Department, is holding a pasta dinner to help raise money for Chief Theriault’s medical expenses. Cheese and crackers from 3:00-4:00 p.m., buffet from 4:00-6:00 p.m., and coffee and dessert from 6:00-7:00 p.m. In addition to delicious food, drinks, and camaraderie, the event will feature dozens of raffle prizes. Event tickets are $20 for adults and $10 for seniors and children under 10 years old. They can be purchased at the door or online at www.HometownFoundation.org Contributions can be made via Venmo @supportDave or by mail to the AVFD at 25 Darling Drive, Avon, CT 06001. 

Canton Community Health Fund Applications

Canton Community Health Fund, Inc. Opens 2025 Application Season, on March 1, 2025, for Canton Community Partner Grants & Canton Scholars Pursuing Careers in Healthcare or Public Safety Canton Community Health Fund, Inc. (CCHF), opens its grant and scholarship application season March 1. CCHF encourages State of CT certified non-profits serving the Canton community to apply for Community Partner grants. In addition, graduating high school seniors seeking higher education in healthcare or public safety are invited to apply for either a Dr. Diters Legacy Scholarship or a Pay It Forward Scholarship. Applications and informative Fact Sheets are available online at www.cantoncommunityhealthfund.org.  Community Partner Grant and Scholarship awards will be announced in June/2025.

 

Avon Library events

AVON –The following events are scheduled at Avon Free Public Library. The library is at Avon Library, 281 Country Club Road, Avon. All programs are in person except where noted. For more information on adult programs, contact Adult Services Reference Desk via avonref@avonctlibrary.info 860-673-9712 x 7203

• Antique Map Collecting 101, Saturday, Feb. 1 at 1 p.m. Registration is required: https://www.avonctlibrary.info/event/antique-map-collecting/

• Morning Book Club. Wednesday, Feb. 5 at 10:30 a.m., The Mystery Guest by Nita Prose, Registration is required: https://www.avonctlibrary.info/events/tag/morning-book-club/

• Meditation for Balance and Inner Contentment. (Virtual Event) Thursday, Feb. 6 at 7 pm.

• Eastern Coyotes in Connecticut (Virtual Event) Thursday, Feb. 13 at 6:30 p.m.

• Fashion and the First Lady (Virtual Event). Wednesday, Feb. 19 at 2 p.m.

• Hoop Skirts to Flappers: Eighty Years of Connecticut Fashion. Monday, Feb. 24 at 2 p.m.

• The Golden Age of Hollywood. (Virtual Event) Tuesday, March 4 at 2 pm.

 

Simsbury Lions Club

The Simsbury Lions Club is looking for people interested in volunteering and contributing to better our town. Our motto is “We serve,” and we do so by volunteering at local events and donating our proceeds to serving interests in our community.

If interested, please feel free to contact Sandy Kremer at Tprkremer@gmail.com or Philip Painchaud at painchaudp@gmail.com.”

 

Winter sowing workshop

The Farmington Land trust is hosting a winter sowing workshop focused on raising native plants. Make your own up-cycled greenhouse from a milk jug and prep some beneficial native plants for the coming growing season. Sunday, Feb 2 from 11a.m.-12:30 p.m. at the Farmington Senior Center. RSVP here: https://www.farmingtonlandtrust.org/event-details/winter-sowing-seminar-native-seed-planting

 

Wild Flowers from Spring to Fall

CANTON – The Cherry Brook Garden Club is hosting a lecture on “Following Our Wild Flowers from Spring to Fall” on Tuesday, Feb. 11, at 11 a.m. at the Canton Community Center, lower level, 40 Dyer Avenue. Steve Messier, Lichenologist and former Science teacher at Canton High School will discuss the topic. The lecture is open to the public. There is a $5 guest fee for non-members. Email questions to cherrybrookgardenclub@gmail.com.

 

‘Five Wishes’ at McLean

SIMSBURY – Join Kevin Baran, M.D., medical director, and the McLean Hospice Team for a special “McLean & Me Educational Series” presentation to learn how to talk about and record your wishes for care through the end of life, so those wishes can be understood and respected. The presentation will be held at McLean’s Garmany Performing Arts Center, 50 Sarah Lane, Simsbury, on Tuesday, Feb. 11, at 6 p.m. The presentation is free but an RSVP by Feb. 4 is required as seating is limited. A light dinner will be provided.

To register, visit McLeanCare.org/Events, email Margaret.Clark@McLeanCare.org, or call 860-658-3718.

 

‘Art Throb!’ Exhibit

Gallery on the Green presents “Art Throb!” Exhibit plus a Solo Exhibit by Kathi Packer Friday, Feb. 14 through Saturday, March 15. An opening reception is on Saturday, Feb. 15 from 6-8 p.m. and will include refreshments. The show and reception are free.

“Art Throb!” is a heartfelt Valentine’s Day celebration presented by the membership of Canton Artists’ Guild. The artists use a wide range of media including painting, prints, drawing, photography, sculpture, ceramics and mixed media to represent the emotional intensity, joy and complexity of love.

In the upstairs Gallery, Kathi Packer has a solo show, “Another Tale.”  Packer notes that a friend’s casual invitation to go on safari in 2008 substantially changed the direction of her artistic journey.The gallery is located near the intersection of Dowd Avenue and Route 44 at 5 Canton Green Road in Canton. Hours are Friday – Sunday, 1-5 pm. The main floor gallery is handicapped accessible.

Website: http://www.galleryonthegreen.org; Phone:  860-693-4102

 

TABLESCAPES fundraiser returns to benefit the new

Avon History Museum

AVON – The Avon Historical Society invites the public to its sixth TABLESCAPES event showcasing up to 30 creative and original table settings on Friday, March 14 and Saturday, March 15 at the historic North House, 1 Nod Road, Avon.

This event will feature themed table settings from local professional designers, florists, businesses, individuals, artists and others featuring fresh floral arrangements, centerpieces and accessories. Proceeds will benefit the installation of professionally curated exhibits in the new Avon History Museum scheduled to open on Friday, July 4, 2025.

Back by popular demand will be a “Table and Barware Tag Sale” on both days. Admission to TABLESCAPES includes the tag sale. Tickets are $20 each pre-sale and at the door. Tickets can be purchased online at www.avonhistoricalsociety.org or by calling Mary Harrop at 860-670-3225 before March 8.

Those interested in sponsorship opportunities can also call Harrop.

 

Alzheimer’s Support Group

FARMINGTON – Hearts, Hugs & Hope: An Alzheimer’s Support Group takes place Feb. 20, 2025, 6 p.m. at Farmington Station Assisted Living and Memory Care Community, 111 Scott Swamp Road, Farmington. Dealing with Alzheimer’s disease and related dementia isn’t easy, so it is helpful to share your concerns and personal experiences with others who completely understand what you’re going through. You will also learn about proven strategies to help you better care for your family member. This group is being offered both in person and via Zoom on the third Thursday of each month. If you plan to attend, contact Director of Compass Programming Katherine Jedynasty at kjedynasty@farmingtonslr.com.

 

Used book sale

AVON - A huge book sale will be held Feb. 28 and March 1 in St. Ann’s Church Hall, 289 Arch Road at Route 167.  Hours are Friday, 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. ($5 adult admission) and Saturday, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. (no admission fee).

Thousands of books will be organized in separate sections, including Fiction, History, Biography, Politics, Children, Music, Cooking, Sports, Art, Vintage, and more!  A large selection of Children’s books will be available.  Fiction books will be divided by hardcover, paperback, and trade paperback and sorted alphabetically by author.  DVDs, CDs, books on CDs, Vinyl records, and puzzles will be available, also.  Most books will be $3 or less with vintage and specialty books priced higher.

 

Daisy Days: All-Girls Summer Day Camp Experience

FARMINGTON – Miss Porter’s School, a renowned institution with a legacy of empowering young women, is excited to announce the launch of Daisy Days, an all-new day camp for girls entering grades 3-5 this fall. Starting this summer, Daisy Days will offer a unique, joy-filled experience designed to spark creativity, build confidence, and inspire self-discovery in an empowering all-girls environment.

For additional details, visit pcgl.porters.org/daisy-days.

 

Artist demonstration

Avon Arts Association will hold a guest artist demonstration featuring  Granby artist Laura Eden on Tuesday, February 18 at  Avon Town Hall, 60 W. Main St., lower level, at 6:30 p.m. Ms. Eden will demonstrate egg tempera painting.

The demo is free and open to the public ($5 suggested donation). A workshop with Ms. Eden will be held at the same location in the Avon Room on Saturday, Feb. 22, 10-2 with  set up at 9:30. Fee: $45 for members, $55 for nonmembers). www.AvonArts.org

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